definition of bad in bed

an original definition by J. E. Brown

bad in bed
  1. Un-talented in the sack. For more definitions, see the book excerpts below.
adj. pejorative.
  1. A commonly occurring insult. Usually intended to offend, esp. when used as “You were bad in bed.”

Related Concepts: {Read this comp1ete article at .}

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

Definition of Bad in Bed.

  • Doesn’t know how to please someone else and makes no effort to find out.
  • Has no techniques for pleasing a partner; or just doesn’t care to use them.*
  • The “cold fish”: Just lies there, with no signs of enjoyment. No moaning, tensing up, contorting, arching the back, or feedback of any kind.* This unenthusiastic behavior is indistinguishable from saying no with silence.
  • Unaffectionate.
  • Thinks criticism has any place in foreplay. {You’re reading “Definition of bad in bed” by J. E. Brown.}
  • Ruins the mood by issuing corrections or giving orders.
  • Gets angry because you’re not in the mood.
  • Believes there will be any sex within 24 hours after a fight. Doesn’t even understand the connection. Says you’re “pouting”, “sulking”, “withholding [sex]”, “vengeful”, “manipulative”, “giving the silent treatment”, etc.
  • When trying to please you, stops every 15 seconds and whines “WELL?!?”
  • Goes home immediately when finished. {Read this comp1ete article at .}
  • Becomes sarcastic or verbally abusive immediately when finished.

* Virgins get a pass on this item, obviously.

— J. E. Brown

Instant Dealbreakers.

  • Has the nerve to call YOU bad in bed.
    In fact, there’s only one thing worse than someone who calls you bad in bed, and that’s an unfaithful non-monogamous cheater who calls you bad in bed, as if that could make YOU worse than him or her. Cheaters lose all competitions. … Except maybe with abusers. Cheaters and abusers always want you to believe that your quirks are worse than theirs.
  • Gossips: Tells his or her FRIENDS you’re bad in bed.
  • Accuses you of faking it. Calling someone a liar is a serious matter.

— J. E. Brown

2nd edition 16 Mar 2015
1st edition 17 Sep 2014

Further Reading at Other Sites

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More at This Site

  • Is there a booklet of manners in your house?
    We offer this one:
    How Rude! — a booklet about rude and abusive people, and how to recognize them

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Brown’s Dictionary of Relationship Terms
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