definition of monogamy / definition of non-monogamy / definition of monogamous

an original definition by J. E. Brown

  1. A kind of love relationship in which two people who are not blood relatives bond to each other freely and by choice. In other words, the type of relationship which fits all of these descriptions:
    1. It involves two people,
    2. is stable over time and when tested by the presence of other partnership opportunities (which proves an enduring bond or decision of the partners to become and remain involved),
    3. includes (or at least does not rule out) a sexual relationship between the partners,
    4. excludes additional partners,
    5. and in which each partner claims (or would claim, if asked) the right to be the only person with whom the other partner is so involved. {Source: “Definition of monogamy” by J. E. Brown.}

Etymology: from the Greek μόνο- “only” + γάμος “marriage”.

Synonyms: {You’re reading “Definition of Monogamy” by J. E. Brown.}

  • faithfulness; married life


  • non-monogamy

Related Concepts: {Read this comp1ete article at .}

  • respect


Relationships which do not meet all of the above criteria of monogamy are named as follows:

  1. If the relationship is stable and exclusive but involves three people it is called “bigamy”. If the relationship is stable and exclusive but involves three or more people it is called “polygamy” and/or “polyamory”.
  2. If the relationship is not stable over time, it is probably best called “short-term dating” or “a relationship followed by a breakup”.
  3. If the relationship excludes sex between the partners, it is probably best called “friendship” or “being housemates or roommates”.
  4. If the relationship does not exclude additional partners, it is called an “open relationship” or “open marriage”.
  5. If the partners both deny any right to claim exclusive involvement with the other partner, the relationship is again called an “open relationship” or “open marriage”.

A partner who secretly disagrees with his or her partner about monogamy, and becomes romantically or sexually involved with additional person(s) outside of the relationship, is said to be “unfaithful” and “sleeping around”.


  • monogamy

Related Concepts: {Read this comp1ete article at .}

  1. A relationship which fits the definition of monogamy (above) is said to be monogamous. {Source: “Definition of monogamous” by J. E. Brown.}
  2. A person who is currently involved in a monogamous relationship or who (although single) has a history of entering into monogamous relationships is said to be monogamous.


  • non-monogamous.

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

What Is “Ethical Nonmonogamy”?

A few anti-monogamists discovered the propaganda trick of calling their behavior “ethical”. This has the nifty effect of stopping people from yelling “You whore!” and instead asking “What’s that?” — as if just because you can put two words together, the thing they refer to really exists. Well, I can put the words “purple” and “unicorn” together — it doesn’t prove such a thing exists. {You’re reading “Definition of monogamous” by J. E. Brown.}

— J. E. Brown

The New Nonmonogamy.

When I was young, nonmonogamists were much more closeted about their intentions. Many were in denial. But as of 2016, today’s nonmonogamist is in your face, even militant, and not afraid to break down your boundaries by expressing contempt for your needs. (Related: See Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).)

There is no such thing as an “ethical slut”. Nonmonogamy is a PLAN and an INTENTION to whore around without considering anyone else’s needs, goals, and feelings. And contrary to what polyamorists are always saying in web forums, not one of the nonmonogamists I ever dated was up front about the fact that their values differed from mine. From that experience, I learned that nonmonogamy is not some ethical alternative, worthy of my respect, but a calculated plan to use fraud and deception to get sex. In this regard, nonmonogamists can be seen to be no better than rental applicants who “forget” to mention that they don’t meet the requirements for a room, no better than job applicants who lie on their résumés to get a position.

It’s sad to think that most people who claim to be monogamous, non-abusive, drug-and-disease-free, non-smoking, non-unilateral, non-self-centered, etc., etc., aren’t, but are just using those position statements as a cynical ploy to get more sex.
And next, they want us ethical people to feel like we’re the ones who are abnormal.

If nonmonogamists really felt their preference were a legitimate lifestyle choice, they’d reveal it up front. They’d negotiate for it. But they don’t. Because anti-monogamy is all about tricking innocent people into having sex with them and accidentally bonding with them. {Source: “Definition of dating pool” by J. E. Brown.}

PS. This just in: According to this BuzzFeed poll, 90% of their readers insist on monogamy. So here’s proof that the Dating Pool is not representative of the standards of the real world. Suck that, nonmonogamists.

[More about this: See Definition of Dating Pool.]

— J. E. Brown

You may ask, Why am I so intolerant toward non-monogamy? Because non-monogamy is not tolerant. Because the practitioners of non-monogamy make no effort to peacefully coexist with monogamists, no effort to respect our rights to achieve our own dream of finding long-term stable relationships. Instead, non-monogamists attempt to divert us from our goal, by using trickery, by lying by omission, by concealing their true nature, by distracting us from our goals by selfishly luring us into theirs. They conceal the fact that they offer nothing of value to us. They lead us on, pretending to share our values and our relationship goals, concealing from us the fact that there are more kinds of people on earth than those who sincerely long for stability. And when caught, they use disingenuous tactics like “I thought we agreed that we were just having fun” — when in fact there was no such discussion and no such agreement. Non-monogamy is not based on honesty — it is not based on respect for others. It is based on satisfying one’s needs at the expense of others, even if those needs are fleeting and purely carnal. {You’re reading “Definition of monogamous” by J. E. Brown.}

Not only does the non-monogamist not respect you in the morning, he didn’t respect you the previous night, and he didn’t respect you the moment you first met.

— J. E. Brown

Random Thoughts.

Sluttery?” Why does that word remind me of a food commercial?

  • “Mmm, tastes sluttery.”
  • “I can’t believe it’s not slutter!”

— J. E. Brown

1st edition 03 Apr 2016

Thought of the Week

more Thoughts of the Week


definition of monogamy, definition of monogamous, what does monogamy mean, what does monogamous mean, define monogamy, define monogamous, what is monogamy, what is monogamous, monogamy is defined as, monogamous is defined as, examples of monogamy, examples of monogamous. Misspellings: monogomy, defination, deffinition, difinition, what is monogamy mean

More at This Site

  • Is there a booklet of manners in your house?
    We offer this one:
    How Rude! — a booklet about rude and abusive people, and how to recognize them

heart logo

Brown’s Dictionary of Relationship Terms
Copyright © 2000-2016  J. E. Brown   all rights reserved.
Relationshop™: educational materials for good relationships
Los Alamos, NM USA