Secret Turnoffs — What turns you off?

Response: #1
Received: Dec 20, 1997 10:02 ET

What about other people turns you off?

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

My mother-in-law is cooking a turkey and is bringing it over to my house on Christmas, even though I am preparing a Smithfield ham for dinner on that day!! There is only going to be eight of us. (Just because she would prefer turkey!) Well there have been many holidays where I have preferred something else other than what she was cooking, but I was polite and never cooked my own meal to bring with me!! Of course, NO ONE in the family agrees with me. I think what she is doing is tacky and bad manners. By the way, I am an excellent cook too!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I am too honest and frank with people. When people ask me their opinion on whether what they are doing wrong is right I will not yes them to death when I think they are wrong. (Especially when there is deceit involved). Ususally they don't want to hear the truth even though deep down they know I am right.

Response: #2
Received: Dec 20, 1997 23:16 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I get turned off by people who constantly sniff instead of using a tissue. The sound this makes really grates my nerves. Racist comments are also a major turnoff for me. I'm also offended by people who talk about themselves continually and never ask me about how my life is going.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

These are the things about me that I think turns people off: I'm "chubby" and would like to lose approximately 12 kg. I'm a vegetarian and people tend to automatically be on the defensive as if they think I'm about to attack them for eating meat. I've never done this so I don't know why they think I'm like that. I'm very quiet and quite introverted and people often mistake this for snobbiness or aloofness. I'm sure once people get to know me better they realise I'm friendly and "nice".

It's ok if you use my name:

Response: #3
Received: Jan 29, 1998 11:20 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Two of my co-workers do pull their share of the responsibilities expected of them for the position. I work in retail clothing at a major store. Our job responsabililties include doing stock work, doing markdown, requesting new tickets for returned mdse, etc. These two people always have an excuse for not being able to complete the task at hand. Therefore, the responsabilities for the upkeep of the department fall on other workers — mainly myself. Because our hourly salary is based on our productivity — ie, how much we can sell per hour over a year's time, these people feel that it is more important to sell than to maintain the dept. AND sell at the same time. As a result, I will be taking a salary cut for the second year in a row because I have pride in my work (I have been there for l4 years) while these two ladies will be getting an increase.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

That I complain too much

Response: #4
Received: Mar 27, 1998 02:10 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

It turns me off when people cannot be honest with me.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

That I speak my opinion so much.

Response: #5
Received: May 7, 1998 21:26 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

My husband and I were invited to a "dinner party." We accepted the invitation. A few days prior to the "dinner party" the hostess called an informed me everyone else was bringing something and she didn't want me to feel uncomfortable coming empty handed. I expressed surprise and asked what the other people were bringing. She replied: one couple is bringing the roast, the other the salad, one the vegetable, and one other couple is bringing dessert and we are doing potatoes. I said I would bring appetizers but really felt snagged into this "dinner party." Need I mention, these people are very financially comfortable. Added to the fact we had only met the host and hostess before, we felt the whole ordeal was a very bad show of manners.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I do not eat red meat.

Response: #6
Received: May 13, 1998 12:13 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

All He wanted to do was talk about himself and his other girlfriends.

Response: #7
Received: May 30, 1998 17:10

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

people who only like to talk about themselves and show no interest in you or your life other than as an audience for them

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I don't ask many questions because I don't want to get into things that are maybe none of my business and I often think others think I don't care

Response: #8
Received: Jul 10, 1998 17:40 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I just can't stand unintelligent people and people who are unbelievably clingy.. I dated a guy for about two months and all he would do is sit there and say nothing. We'd be driving in the car for hours, and he wouldn't say one word. When I asked him what he was thinking about, all he could say was "I dunno." The worst part is, I know he was telling the truth. I also dated a guy for three years who couldn't spend more than a minute alone. He treated me like a queen, but It got to the point where I just couldn't respect him as a person.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I've been kind of a tomboy all my life, and as much as I try to be feminine in my adult years it always seems to backfire and I end up looking and/or acting ridiculous.

Response: #9
Received: Sep 4, 1998 13:27 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Editor's note: You've read my mind!
Click here to see the new survey on fast relationships.
— jeb

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #10
Received: Sep 20, 1998 13:51 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I can't stand when people are to afraid to talk to you, because they that think they might say something you disagree with. So they say nothing and let you talk, so they can sit and agree with you. It's okay to disagree, or be unique. I like people who have their OWN opinion!!!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I worry that I talk too much and am too opinionated and stubborn/strong willed.

Response: #11
Received: Dec 29, 1998 11:22 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

My biggest turnoff is a guy who can't be independent of a relationship. It is nice for a guy to call you and say hi. It is not nice for him to call you three times a day. I am a single mother in graduate school full time working two jobs. it is annoying for someone to assume that as soon as I get off that I will call. I get annoyed when they want to be around me every spare second i have. When a guy cannot back away from the relationship and give the woman space to be romantic and to think about the next time she can see him, it is a big turnoff.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My independence turns guys off. They are afraid of a woman who does not need them to do a lot for them. I think the fact that I am a single mom turns guys off because they think that after one date I am trying to find a 'daddy'.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #12
Received: Jan 25, 1999 20:55 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I was sitting next to my girlfriend at the movies and she farted loud enough for the whole theatre to hear. I immeaditly got up and left her. I never spoke to her again!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #13
Received: Feb 10, 1999 20:39 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I can't stand it when a girl can't pick up on a pick up line. And, unfortunately, guys can't be bold and outspoken to all girls, or they will find that distasteful too. Where's the balance? And when will ladies realize that ALL men are interested in them for one reason or another. Time for them to start learning the pick-up lines.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I think some people find me as "stuck up", or "egotistical", but I know the reason why. That is, because I am quiet in nature, and don't always know what to say to them, so I keep to myself. I'm quit the opposite.

Response: #14
Received: Feb 11, 1999 18:30 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

When you are getting in the mood an your partner uses profanity when reffering to sex or when they say something gross

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My unability to feel completly comfortable with someone of a different sex. I always have something I do not feel comfortable doing or saying

Response: #15
Received: Feb 11, 1999 20:31 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

It turned me off when my last rendez-vous repeatedly mumbled and mutter phrases out of no where. Also, when someone who has a crush on you constantly stares at you makes me gag. I become irritated and there is no way that I would go out with that person, it would feel like I lowered myself to go out with a stalker.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Sometimes I can become a tad rude with someone that likes me or with someone I like. I think I do this because they catch me off guard and I am mad that I was not ready to respond the way I would have liked and say something rude. Also I tend to act silly or stupid to get attention, but the only attention I get is that of "Shut up!" "You're weird!" or a look of disgusted perplexment.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #16
Received: Mar 8, 1999 04:20 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Making me feel like I'm a piece of meat.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My wild side.

Response: #17
Received: Mar 9, 1999 16:32 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

This guy I dated was constantly picking at his fingernails. And I don't mean just every once in a while. It was literally all day long and even when he slept! That is the most annoying sound in the world if you can imagine. Then when he would talk to anyone, he would get right up in their face (reguardless of who it was) and completely take them off guard by staring right into their eyes continuously and not moving more than 2 inches from their nose!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I think I have too much body hair. And I have a bad habit of saying "like" every two words.

Response: #18
Received: Mar 21, 1999 02:23 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

You shouldn't smoke it makes you look really bad!!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I don't share my feelings and don't talk very much to others.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #19
Received: Mar 23, 1999 20:36 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Married men on the internet trying to cyber with anything they can.. Total turnoff.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I tell them when they are out of line.

Response: #20
Received: Mar 24, 1999 18:59 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Well this one guy kept insisting that I know whether he was a virgin or not, so one day I finally asked him, and he said nope, that he had slept with two girls and only regreted one of them. I was girlfriend and he was tlling me he liked sleeping with some other girl??? I swear.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Bad breath, cockyness, dirty hair, fatness, and smoking

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #21
Received: Mar 29, 1999 14:34 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

They pick their nose in public.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I am to honest with people.

Response: #22
Received: Apr 19, 1999 19:04 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

"Let's get engaged as soon as possible.", "I'd hit a woman back."

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Ignoring them, certain jokes

Response: #23
Received: Apr 22, 1999 13:17 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

This boy kept on popping up at my house and not calling

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

When I tend to be really quiet on the phone.

Response: #24
Received: May 16, 1999 00:16 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Constantly belching and passing gas. Wanting to monopolize my every minute. Insecurity. Needing me to constantly stroke their egos. Sucking on my fingers. Having to know it all. Being unfair and critical of others because of their age or race. Calling me to talk and instead reading to me or giving me a blow by blow of the TV program they are watching. Suggesting how I should dress. Such as "I can visualize seeing you wearing really short shorts, midriff and your hair up in a baseball cap". When I don't dress that way as a norm. Hanging all over me in order to make sure that everyone knows that we are together. Telling me the details of the recent surgery, when I simply asked how they feel. And continuing when I asked them to please not be so graphic. Thinking that dating means they can tell me how to manage my finaces or what I should buy or even what my finacial goals are.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I am not sure. There probably is something, but I try to be aware of others feelings.

Response: #25
Received: Jun 2, 1999 01:21 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

It turns me off if someone "shhhs" me. I think do to so is a thinly veiled "shutup."

Response: #26
Received: Jun 10, 1999 12:25 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

people who talk about themselves all the time people who are really loud and overpower the whole atmosphere

Response: #27
Received: Jun 14, 1999 16:34 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

When they show off, brag, or when you try to give them advice to HELP them, but they just get mad at you, and ones that say that you are their friend but barely act like they even know you, let alone their friend. And they act nice around you one day, act all rude and act as if they dont' know you the next.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

If I show off sometimes??

Response: #28
Received: Jun 27, 1999 00:02 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Some people think it's cute to burp in public, some people think they don't smell or need deodorant. I was in line in a store waiting to be checked out, and this man in front of me could probably have been smelt five feet away. We go out to eat and this woman, mind you, just sat there eating, burping, like there was no tomorrow. PLEASE!!!!!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Probably because I can't do things I use to because of a car accident. I use to be very active, now I'm not as much as fun.

Response: #29
Received: Jul 1, 1999 01:58 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

You look better than what you did last year that is why I did ask you out but now you look good.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

When I ask do they have a job.

Response: #30
Received: Jul 23, 1999 11:19 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I can't stand when guys bark, pant, yell hey baby, or splatter me with puddles if I turn them down

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Serious Attitude

Response: #31
Received: Jul 28, 1999 15:19 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

When they icnore you or act like your not even there....

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My shyness.

Response: #32
Received: Jul 28, 1999 16:21 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I think smoking, drinking and drugs are a big turnoff for me. I'm not into a guy, or anyone that thinks that they can't live without drugs or thinks that alcohol is "cool." When I become friends with someone like this, I usually at least try to make them realize that what they are doing is not healthy, and that they should try something else to take their time because doing drugs and drinking are not a vital part of life.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I think the fact that I am so picky turns people off. I have a weird taste in people, and also a weird taste in food. I think some of my friends think I am a hypocrite because I say that I don't like people who do drugs, but a couple of my best friends do drugs. Also one of my best friends used to sell drugs. I think my attitude can sometimes be a turnoff because I get very sad sometimes and I tend to bring down the attitudes of others also.

Response: #33
Received: Aug 27, 1999 14:21 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People who will complain, whine, and cry about their current relationship; and then get defensive if you offer any kind of advice. I understand the need to be heard and understood, but now before I say anything else, I ask what they really want from me. Advice or just listening. Sometimes it's one, the other, or neither. People who are so selfish that they think their actions/behavior do not affect other members of their family or friends. People who have to know constantly where you are, but will not tell you where they are. And people who LIE incessantly even when there's evidence of the truth...everywhere, and hanging so heavily in the air that you could almost reach out and grab it. The eyes are the key to the truth.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My inability to make small talk, or give "nicey" answers to redundant questions... "How are you?" "Good Morning!" "Have a nice weekend" I hate those little niceties, I'd appreciate the simple..."Hello!" and "Good bye" or "See you later" My lack of intimate relationships in the work place. I want to keep my job and my personal life separate so neither one seeps into the other... I don't want to fight with my husband on the phone at work, nor do I want to have my new boss call me at home. And I really don't want to socialize with my co-workers, even at lunch. So my need to be a "loner" probably pisses people off and makes them uncomfortable around me.

It's ok if you give my name:

Editor's note: I wrote back and asked, 

you wrote

   > People who are so selfish that they think their actions/behavior 
   > do not affect other members of their family or friends. 
   > 
   > People who have to know constantly where you are, but 
   > will not tell you where they are.

"What if any direct quotes come to mind when you think about these people?"
The respondent replied 

Response: #34
Received: Sep 13, 1999 20:27 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People who brag about using drugs or alcohol, guns or breaking laws. People who don't smile or laugh are a huge turnoff. People who express predujice turn me off.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #35
Received: Sep 30, 1999 23:12 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People who are openly rude to other people and who could care less about hurting someone elses's feelings. ie: seeing someone waithing for another car to pull out and when they do driving quickly into that parking spot although you knew that they were waiting there first. .... People who pretend to be helpless, so that someone else can do their work for them. People who say "I Can't", and defeat themselves before they even get started. Liers, who tell malicious lies to destroy other people, for their own gain. Theives Con-people, who prey on the weak minded Lazy, non-productive people, who are proud because they are lazy and non-productive.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My desire to not socialize with co-workers outside of work and large groups of people who are half my age and that I do not have anything in common with.

Response: #36
Received: Oct 1, 1999 20:23 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

people talking about mutual friends or family in a gossipy sort of way things you wouldnot dare say to the persons face

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #37
Received: Oct 7, 1999 16:14 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I am 35. I do not like being call Ma'am. I believe when I am called Ma'am by most 20 something year olds it is to imply that I am old, or is an intended insult and not said out of respect. And people who think ignorance of the job they hold is acceptable.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My directness, I don't have a problem telling a personal exactly what is on my mind. For example I have a friend who doesn't have a car, she will ask me for rides, sometimes I will drive her and when I feel she is taking advantage I tell her " Sorry, not today. Hey why don't you get a car?!? Expecting the best from people, not excuses. My expecting people to be accountable in their jobs and personal choices where they feel society owes them something because of bad choices they have made. Incidentally, I do not worry about "turning other people off." I am diplomatic when the situation calls for it and stright forward when nessary.

Editor's note: I wrote back and asked, 

you wrote

   > And people who think ignorance of the job they hold is acceptable.
 
Examples? 

The respondent replied 

I wrote back:

You have a point. Ignorance of the job *is* bad for business. And it deserves to be. 

I think I know how you feel — recently I needed a virus checker for my computer. 
The mfr of my present virus checker has been ignoring my e-mail, 
so I decided to take my business elsewhere. 
I chose another company whose product looked promising. 
But it took 3 days to get through to their sales rep (who was never in her office, 
and never left a message when calling me back). 
When I finally got to talk to her, I asked, 
"Does your product run on Macintosh?" 

Simple question, right? I mean SIMPLE. 

She had to put me on hold for 60 seconds while she asked someone else. 

Of course I didn't buy their product. If their *sales* team is that ignorant, 
imagine what their support department must be like! 

	--J. E. Brown 
	Relationshop 

Response: #38
Received: Oct 28, 1999 16:47 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

This guy was really really flirting with me, but then started going in for the kill with this other girl. A few weeks later, she told me about some rumor she heard about him and a 3rd girl. Now, he's starting in on me again.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #39
Received: Oct 31, 1999 18:05 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I hate it when people lie. Not big lies just little ones like why they didnt show up for a party or to go out to eat. Then they tell you one story and tell someone else a completely different lie

Editor's note: When someone lies to you in order to cover their own butt at your expense, it is not "little."
It's disloyalty. They're putting themselves first and you a distant second. They're putting you on a lower level. Friends don't do that.
-- jeb

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I am very honest. I tell people what I feel and some dont like that. I believe in expressing my feelings and not to hide behind them.

Response: #40
Received: Nov 1, 1999 20:08 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

i hate it when people ask my opinion on something only to argue with that opinion.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

i'm a very opinionated person, but i won't talk about myself unless someone asks me a direct question. i've learned by now that it's better to remain silent and have people think you are stupid than to speak and prove them right.

Response: #41
Received: Nov 11, 1999 17:14 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Pen pals who don't answer questions when you ask them. They just ramble on about themsselves.

Editor's note: Thank you — I've been waiting for someone other than me to say it. — jeb

Response: #42
Received: Nov 16, 1999 02:35 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

This girl I know at a club when I asked her when we were gonna hang out she smirked and said " I don't know" I said want me to call you? she smirked again and said "I gave you my number?" God, I just wanted to be her friend.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I think my look, like the look on my face makes me look snobby....

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #43
Received: Nov 20, 1999 11:59 ET

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

that if something is said to me in a "tone" i get very irate and bullheaded imediatly.

Response: #44
Received: Dec 6, 1999 22:43 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Smoking cigarettes in my vicinity. Any person who fakes a punch or other similar act of violence....

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #45
Received: Dec 20, 1999 15:11 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I had a friend for over 20 years. Throughout our friendship, she would be rude and snobby to service people, such as waiters, clerks, etc. It always made me feel uncomfortable, but I just ignored it. Then she really picked up speed and became a real bitch on wheels. We'd go out with our husbands and she'd have too much to drink and become abusive to everyone waiting on us, barking orders and complaining to everyone. On our final night out, I calmly told her to knock it off. She got flip with me, but we managed to finish off the night. We politely said goodnight in the parking lot, and haven't spoken since. That was two years ago. I don't miss her a bit. I got tired of having my stomach in knots when I was around her. I guess we just outgrew each other. She grew too mean-spirited.

Response: #46
Received: Jan 5, 2000 21:09 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Men who are too interested in my friends Men who only wore track pants. .... When people critize at first sight.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My weight My quietness. inability to explain things.

Response: #47
Received: Jan 10, 2000 22:07 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People that think women are supposed to "be" a certain way. and then act cruel to them if they defend themselves. ....

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

they want to figure me out and know everything about me, but they can't. ....

Response: #48
Received: Jan 19, 2000 01:49 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People who smack their food. Cussing to much. Disrespect by whispering in front of people. Loading their plate full of food and wasting most of it.

Response: #49
Received: Jan 19, 2000 12:11 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

People who "blow their horns" so loud that they make their listeners dominated or feel less about themselves. These are people who can talk of certain matters privately but chooses to broadcast it seemingly to brag about it. ....

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #50
Received: Jan 27, 2000 18:32 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Always wanting me to make the first move...call them...go see them. Not making an effort to be with me.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Response: #51
Received: Feb 10, 2000 19:32 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Editor's note:
Gross!
There seems to be a subspecies of humans who believe that after they get to know someone well, they can let it all hang out: bodily functions; tactless and insulting opinions; a controlling, domineering side....
-- jeb

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I've gained about 15 pounds since we married in 1994 and I often wonder if that turns my husband off.

Response: #52
Received: Feb 17, 2000 14:54 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

.... spend more time with their material things and not me choose other friends/boyfriends over me .... argue with me over how I feel about certain issues argue with me over my interpretation of a song, poem or story

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

.... my quiet nature makes me seem like a snob

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #53
Received: Feb 22, 2000 15:16 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Control freaks are the worst! People that feel that they are trying to help and end up taking your life into their own hands or expecting you to follow their advise always! A person, who I thought would be a good friend of the opposite sex, and I went out drinking one night. I confided in him and he consoled me. Then, several weeks later, he laughed at me with a situation I was going through. I was hurt by a life situation and did not get the result I was expecting from him.

Response: #54
Received: Mar 7, 2000 21:59 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Response to "Patti" Re; What people do or say to upset you. "It sounds like your husband would like a little bit of time to himself when he bahaves like that. If you are truly curious as to where he is going, why not have your girlfriend follow him. Or better yet! hire a P.I to do it. This way you will be satisfied with the answer you get." Why do women have to know everything about their man? .... Women! "Leave the men alone!" or they will stray!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

From: Christine in Richmond Hill My independance definately! Single Mother, self employed, never been married, (hopefully one day soon), my eagerness to do well, my positive attitude and strong will to succeed at all that I do. My beautiful looks (without sounding big headed), my patience and understanding, my appreciation of mankind, not having to depend on a man for financial support (like many woman do), my respect for others and my extra special talents that make me who I am, These turn people off because I make people look bad (not on purpose though) so they take it out on me - well, I don't feel bad for anyone that chooses to wallow in self pity, jealousy or hatred. I choose to win. To smile. To forgive. To play.

Editor's note:
As a matter of fact, yes, referring to your own looks as "beautiful" does sound big-headed.
But on the other hand, your overall point is right on: When a person shines, the glare is too much for some. As Emerson said, envy is "the tax which all distinction must pay."

As this web page is dedicated to discovering what causes distance in relationships, it would be interesting to know how people work around this. If any of you readers know a technique that lets you show your gifts and talents without giving rise to envy, I'd love to hear it and publish it so everyone can benefit — write me here. One requirement: It must be a technique which you have used or seen used, and which works. Theory (i.e., guessing) is not helpful here.
-- jeb

Response: #55
Received: Mar 29, 2000 09:08 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

The word "horny" is a turnoff for me. Especially if a guy describes how he is. ....

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

.... When I don't have enough confidence in my- self.

Response: #56
Received: May 2, 2000 05:11 ET

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My lack of motivation at times, and the fact I am a hopeless romantic, and am not a "let's talk like we just called a 1-900 number type of gal", in other words I don't like to talk dirty.

Response: #57
Received: May 5, 2000 14:25 ET

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My ability to be bold. Truthfullnes is my favorite manner about people - so I try to be truthful back.

Response: #58
Received: Jul 1, 2000 23:10 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

An eductated professional person who piles on the perfume, who refuses to use antiperspirant or deodorant, has to stand three inches from you when they are speaking, but who must speak at a shouting level so people 20 feet away can hear what they are saying to you.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

Indecisive. Insecurities. Not orderly. Spending too much time on the internet. Bookworm. (How is that for a singles ad!)

Response: #59
Received: Jul 1, 2000 23:16 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

A 'friend' who is always asking me and my boyfriend questions in attempts to sum-up or determine the 'status' of our dating relationship. Is there a polite way tell that person that this area is none of her business and to but out?

Response: #60
Received: Jul 1, 2000 23:35 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

Short-fused people who think the only way they can get anything done is to scream or complain.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #61
Received: Dec 5, 2000 00:49 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

A friend of mine was getting rid of a washer and dryer from her rental house I was helping her to get it readdy to rent, she offered me the pair and I arranged to have them picked up a day later, only to find that she went ahead and sold them to her new renter for cheap. I was really hurt and astonished at her bad manners!!!

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

In my older age I don't go out of my way to act or do what others want, that really reams the people in my life that are used to me giving in.

Response: #62
Received: Jan 15, 2001 15:06 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

When anyone around me starts dumping on themselves "I'm to fat" "Noone ever looks at me like that" "I hate my life" attention seeking suicide threats

Editor's note:
How inconsiderate of other people to have feelings.
— jeb

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

My inability to tell how things really are. I worry about hurting someones feelings so I dont be truthful. But also my frankness in certain situations. I will ask a guy who is "picking me up" if he is in for sex. and if he is i'll point out someone I know who he wont waste his time with. and send him on his way

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #63
Received: Jan 3, 2002 13:59 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

My in-laws, not only during the last year, but since I have known them have always approached my husband when they feel like I have done something "not quite right" and ask him to tell me how rude or insensitive or _____ I have been. They have never approached me directly with a problem which makes me feel really uncomfortable. Also, their criticism is never about anything concrete, but just feelings that I've not treated them with the consideration they deserve in one manner or another.

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I'm usually very quiet and reserved around people I don't know well and find it difficult to create "small talk". I love making new friends, but find the process of getting to know someone uncomfortable, and people seem to perceive me, initially at least, as unfriendly and aloof.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #64
Received: Mar 25, 2002 14:13 ET

What have people done or said that made you mad, made you lose interest in them, or made you want nothing to do with them?

I have a cousin who is like a sister to me. She moved in with me when I lived with my first husband. I told her that it was ok for her not to pay me any rent and save her money to get herself a house or another place to live later on. I never asked anything of her. She bought her house. My exhusband and I divorced and she asked me if I wanted to stay with her. This time she wanted me to pay rent. Which was ok, I bought groceries and paid some of the rent in addition to the money I was giving her weekly. I then met someone new. I was staying over my boyfriends house for 2 months. (I mean not spending the night at her house at all) I still had some of my personal stuff in her house. She pulled out a spreadsheet and told me that I owed her money for rent, groceries,ect. I thought that was very rude. I paid her the money to keep things clear, but paying over 700.00 for 2 months when I was not even there was not right. I thought she was like a sister to me, but that totally turned me off about her

In your opinion (or in your secret worries), what about you turns other people off?

I think to others I come accross as a very straight forward person. They think I can be cold hearted. I rather be straight honest with people and let them know what bothers me other than keep it to myself or make a comment to someone else. Sometimes people don't like the truth told to their face. They also say that I am very moody. with that I can agree.