"My Old Roommate" — a Survey on Sharing a House

Response: #1
Received: Jan 10, 1998 21:17 ET

Your roommate did some things that no roommate ought to do.

What would you like to tell your old roommate — all roommates —
about how to get along when sharing a house or apartment?
What did your roommate do wrong?

For Christmas I'd received some luxurious towels from my mother. Without my permission, my roommate took one of the towels (before I'd even used it) and dried his dog with it!! I found the towel in the laundry covered with black marks. It didn't smell too good either. Another time, my roommate needed a hammer. He couldn't find one, so he grabbed one of my new saucepans and used it as a hammer. I found it in the kitchen with huge dents in the bottom. I couldn't believe it.

It's ok if you use my name:

Response: #2
Received: Jan 21, 1998 10:30 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My roomate had sex with my boyfriend and now she's going out with him.

Response: #3
Received: Jan 26, 1998 02:11 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

There are two things I have had problems with roommates: 1). Not telling me about weapons they may have secretly hidden in their beds and closets. 2). Getting selfish about their possessions in the common areas of the household (especially when it comes to TVs, VCRs and CD Players). My first pot-luck roommate at college kept a rather large knife handy under his bed, and later on, another roommate kept a shotgun under his bed (loaded and ready-to-go). They never informed me of these weapons, and I was a little nervous when these items became known months later.

Response: #4
Received: Aug 24, 1998 12:08 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I have had roommates who "hogged" the telephone, not letting anyone else use it until she was quite through. She would spend, literally, hours, speaking with people who she could have visited a 3-5 minute bus ride away. And then, to make matters worse, the rest of us would have to make our calls before the hour became too late to do so. Another roommate kept setting pots on fire due to her careless cooking habits. Another roommate didn't bathe regularly. Another turned the heat up to 90 degrees, all year!! But the absolute worst was the one who would set the alarm clock for 4:30am and then hit the snooze until 6:00am and scream and carry on about being late (meanwhile the rest of us had been awake since 4:30am!!!).

Response: #5
Received: Sep 17, 1998 17:03 ET

Your roommate did some things that no roommate ought to do.

What would you like to tell your old roommate — all roommates —
about how to get along when sharing a house or apartment?
What did your roommate do wrong?

My psyco roommate was the worst person to live with....... she was a slob, one time I came home from a weekend trip to California to find the apt COVERED with beer cans, bongs, pipes and take out containers. She never left the apt the whole weekend! Then refused to clean it up, so I had to before the stench came. She also hung out with 14 & 15 year old kids (I was 22) who broke my couch and constantly wrecked everything! And she wondered why we had a bug problem!

Response: #6
Received: Sep 24, 1998 04:57 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My current roommate cooks nasty creations, eats half...and then leaves the rest of the food in a dish in the floor...some of it has even been there for more than a week. Also, her boyfriend is here so much that I refer to them as my "roommates". They keep it completely legal by school policy (we live in a college dorm), but he is here absolutely every minute of the day. She sleeps all the live long day...and he hangs around anyway. Another thing she does is tell me all the details of their sex life and her various reproductive system troubles. Its not bad enough that I come home frequently to a locked door and noises from within, but once I finally get in, she has to tell me about it.

Response: #7
Received: Dec 29, 1998 11:31 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I had a roommate that had no sense of space. she thought she was still living at home. We shared half of all expenses, but that was it. It was an efficiencey room in a dorm so things were cramped. I did all the dishes. I did all the laundry. I made our beds and vaccumed our floors. It was as if I was the live-in maid. i suppose that I didn't have to do all of this, but if I didn't, the room looked like a disaster. When I would speak to her about it she shrugged me off. She also would borrow things without asking. I didn't mind too much but she crossed the line. Some things you just don't borrow--even for girls. I once found a pair of my pant ies dirty by her bed that I had not worn. I got curious and checked her dresser and found several of my pair of underwear in there. That is too far. Roomates--take heed. Closeness is great but respecting privacy and modesty is good too.

Response: #8
Received: Jan 8, 1999 14:51 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

she never picked up after herself she always had to know my business she would eavesdrop in my phone calls she tried to date my ex-boyfriends

Response: #9
Received: Mar 8, 1999 04:16 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

KEEP A JOB! It is at no point in time your roommate's responsibility to pay your way.... if you can't pay your bills, salvage the relationship and MOVE OUT! Don't burdon your roommate with the extra bills...

Response: #10
Received: Mar 9, 1999 16:25 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

He had lots of wild parties and tried to kick me out of my own house when this happened. He said it was really his house because he lived there first (although I paid half the rent and paid for almost all of the groceries and bills). One night when this stuff was going on, I walked into my own bedroom to find a couple having sex on my bed! When I complained to my roommate about this, he completely blew up about it, so I went to a friend's house to spend the night. The next morning when I came home, everything I owned was strewn about in the yard.

Response: #11
Received: Mar 11, 1999 12:44 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My old roommate constantly would bring home different guys she had met bars/parties and have sex in the room while I was sleeping! If that wasn't bad enough, she would sleep in my bed during the day (why?-i do not know), steal my clothes, and wear my socks even though she had freakin' athletes foot. She would also eat all my food but would never pay for anything, then complain how she had an eating disorder. She was so starved for attention that she would lie about having anorexia - She was seriously probably 30 pounds overwieght and eating constantly. ... (Sidenote - Would also undress in front of any and all of my guests - She was very impressed with her large chest & thong underwear)

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #12
Received: Mar 25, 1999 15:18 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

She never bought food. She would eat my food and would bring her friends over when I wasn't there to eat all my food. They would leave the food to rot outside of the refrigerator. I would tell all roommates that some students, like me, buy groceries because they can't afford to eat out all the time. Whatever little I bought was supposed to last me all week. Also, one night, some other roomates of mine started drinking heavily and then they brought over to our apartment a handsome guy who they had just met. They didn't even know his complete name, but they continued drinking with him.. I was trying to get some sleep in the other room after a long day of studying. And I could hear them laughing and drinking. After several hours the girls were knocking at the door, crying because the guy was drunk, he was making serious passes at one of the girls who was knocked out from drinking, and he wouldn't leave. So, because I was the eldest for the girls ( I was 22) they asked me to please ask him to leave. I was afraid and he was very rude and told me not to get involved. I said, " Of course I'll get involved I also live here, so please leave" . After heavy arguing with me he finally left. My advice to roommates is, "Be considerate of your other roommates when bringing people over. If you want to put you life at risk by bringing in strangers into your place, do it when you live alone. Do not put your other roommates lives at risk."

Response: #13
Received: Apr 7, 1999 16:39 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT SOMEONE IS PROBABLY WRONG. I THOUGHT I KNEW MY BESTFRIEND WHO LATER BECAME MY ROOMMATE. IT WAS MY WORST NIGHTMARE. SHE HAD HORRIBLE HABBITS , LIKE SHE WOULD'NT TAKE A SHOWER FOR DAYS AND SHE SMELLED SO BAD. SHE, I GUESS GOT LAZY AFTER ABOUT 2 MONTHS. SHE ALSO WOULD'NT EMPTY THE BATHROOM TRASH AFTER HER TIME OF THE MONTH. SO THAT SMELLED TOO! AND SHE HAD A CAT THAT ATTACKED EVERYONE. I JUST SUJEST IF YOU PLAN ON EVER MOVING OUT WITH SOMEONE BE PREPARED THEY MAY CHANGE OR GET COMFORTABLE AND IT'S HARD PULLING THE WAIT ON YOUR OWN FOR MORE THAN ONE PERSON. FIND A CHEAP PLACE TO LIVE AND DO IT ON YOUR OWN IT WILL SAVE YOU FROM ALL THE HASSLE OF HAVING TO START OVER WHEN YOU GET SICK OF YOUR ROOMIE

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #14
Received: Apr 20, 1999 12:17 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

She slept with people in my bed when I wasn't home.

Response: #15
Received: Apr 28, 1999 14:07 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

They did not tell me when something i did bothered them, instead they would walk around with an attitude and not let me in on what was wrong. Then eventually it would end up in a big blow out. They should have been honest and let me know if they were bothered by something i was doing, and we could have compromised.

Response: #16
Received: May 25, 1999 18:23 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

He went through mine and my other flatmates underwear and wasn't very subtle about it either!

Response: #17
Received: Jun 11, 1999 13:57 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

She stole anything she could get her hands on. We had to sleep with money/credit cards in our pillow cases. One day I opend one of my CD cases and there was nothing in it. Then I looked in the rest of the cases and they were all empty, eventually she confessed to stealing them all and leaving them at her parents house. She cleaned her ears out with Qtips and left them on my bed. She decorated all the walls with pictures she cut out of porno magazines, so I was too embarrased to have many people in.

Response: #18
Received: Jul 30, 1999 18:13 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My roommate was determined to be my best friend and my mother. She told me what to wear, how to do my hair, and nagged me about my homework!!! She also wanted to be best friends with me and my other friends. The most annoying thing was that she got mad when I wasn't home enough. My ideal roommate would be one that pays her bills and is never there. This roommate of mine took it personally when I didn't come home and hang out with her. She only lasted 3 months before we had to kick her out.

Response: #19
Received: Aug 2, 1999 13:01 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

She would tell me all the things that i did wrong and then turn around and do thesame mistakes. She would criticize the way i cleaned, even though she refused to lift a finger. She was immature and would tell friends things about meon our answering machine that weren't even true. She constantly had men sleeping over and did the best she could to make me uncomfortable.....my problem is, is that i'm still living with her, worst of all she's my first cousin.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #20
Received: Sep 13, 1999 20:10 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

Went into my room without my permission and helped himself to anything he wanted including sleeping in my bed when I was not home. It was a male/female platonic relationship but he felt that after we lived together for 3 monthe that we should have casual sex while at home. NOT!!!!!

Response: #21
Received: Sep 28, 1999 16:52 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

What my roommate/suitemate did: Purposely walked in on my boyfriend and me when we were fooling around. Then proceeded to lecture us at 1pm how we were being too loud (we were laughing, no other noises, rather like her and her friend had been at 2 am a night ago). Now, if she had accidently walked in I would have forgiven her. If she had talked to me later, we could have had a constructive conversation. By talking to me while both myself and my boyfriend were half clothed I would have agreed to anything to get her the hell out of the room. Now I am stuck in a real etiquette situation of how to bring the subject up again, as I didn't then because I rarely see my boyfriend and I didn't want it to spoil our day together. Her boldly bitching at me about her sleeping patterns while I was minding my own business and had been as polite as possible by closing all interconnecting doors was the most shocking and rude behavior I have ever experienced.

Response: #22
Received: Sep 30, 1999 23:19 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

Borrowed my clothes and treated them badly. .... Lending my clothes to her friends. Not doing her share of the cleaning Partying all night in the house with her friends, when you had to go to work the next day, playing the steroe loudly etc. Letting friends us e the phone to make ling distance calls. Having people in the house who steal your things. Not ever having here rent on time because she saw a dress etc, that she "had to have." Having a pet and not cleaning up behind it, feeding it (leaving that responsibility to you), or giving it water, or taking it for a walk.

Response: #23
Received: Oct 3, 1999 20:28 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

Share the chores or at least pick up after your self, respect others personal space and property, and always tell the other person if they got a phone call when they were not home and take a message to be polite.

Response: #24
Received: Oct 9, 1999 22:38 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

When it was time for her college graduation she invited her whole family over to our apartment to stay without even asking me first. She TOLD me about it before it happened but never asked. It was about 4 or 5 people. We had a bug problem at one apt we lived in and she would make food and leave it laying out for me to clean up. I would clean the kitchen and she'd have her boyfriend over the next day and they'd be cooking and dropping stuff on the floor. She had a cat which was mean and unaffectionate and always breaking my stuff and clawing on my things. To make matter worse, she got a second cat while I was out of town without asking me.

Response: #25
Received: Oct 19, 1999 20:25 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My old roommate had gotten involved with a guy who did a lot of cocaine and pot. After a short time, when it would be time for them to pay their portion of the household expenses (like rent or the gas bill), they would pay me in coins (nickels, times and quarters). I moved out after a while and she eventually split up with this guy, after he stole her credit card, ran off to Las Vegas with one of his friends, maxed out her card and spent all her money. That was over 10 years ago. We patched up our friendship and are still good friends today. Now we look back and laugh, but at the time, it wasn't so funny.

Response: #26
Received: Oct 28, 1999 17:20 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My roomate: 1. Hung dead bird parts on the wall after a weekend adventure in the mountains. 2. Likes to leave the bathroom door open when urinating. 3. Leaves the phone off the hook especially before leaving. 4. Has a very nasty girlfriend that would scare Freddie Crouger away. 5. Prefers sleeping on the floor because its "more comfortable". 6. Belches considerably loud. 7. Uses my personal items at his own discretion. 8. Goes through my stuff looking for things I wouldn't have in a million years. 9. Cooks food on the stove, then forgets about it which in turn sets the fire alarm off-Is back an hour later to see he forgot something. When living in the dorms at college sometimes you end up with roomates that are not quite mentally "all there" Fortunately he was my roomate for a short, very short period of time.

It's ok if you give my name:

Editor's note:  I wrote back 

you wrote 

	5. Prefers sleeping on the floor because its "more comfortable".

Uh huh. Is this actually hurtful to you, or are you just being judgmental? 

Lancepaul69 wrote back 

I wrote back 
 
Dear Lance, 

(in reply to) 

   > 7. Uses my personal items at his own discretion.

(and also) 

   > Therefore, anyone not 
   > watching, would hit their head.

Ah, you make some good points. You're right, a roommate shouldn't be creating 
hazards, nor borrowing (nor even moving) your stuff without permission. 

And as for the bird parts and the open-bathroom-door thing — Gross! :^) 

Thanks for many good ideas. 

Response: #27
Received: Jan 27, 2000 18:30 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My old roomates did not include me in anything they did...including meals and watching TV. They almost completely ignored both me and my boyfriend making the house an extremely uncomfortable place to be.

Response: #28
Received: Apr 3, 2000 14:37 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

she took my clothes all the time without asking, often ruining them...and she sometimes even believed they were hers

Response: #29
Received: Apr 29, 2000 12:52 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I took in a friend that was in more trouble with her life than I could ever imagine. I helped her move out of her old apt that she could not afford anymore and move in with me where we could split the rent. In the time she was there she lost her job, her car and worked as a stripper that never got work! She had a few jobs inbetween but she would over sleep and not go in or do something to mess it all up. She borrowed my car all of the time. She left me with an outragous visa bill, $400.00+ phone bill and other utilities I had to pay! She was very dirty. Had real bad breath and would pretend to shower and not really take a full one. Her room was so nasty our puppy would poop by her door or in her room instead of by the front door. Our puppy would also go in her room to get any of my clothes sh had borrowed and bring them out. It was like he knew they did not belong in there. She had a pair of jeans that you could stand them up and they looked like someone was in them because she would go out dancing in them and wear them the next night. Condoms were stuck to the floor her bathroom had things growing in it. She said she would pay me back for all of the debit but after a few payments she accused me of bothering her for the money so I took her to court! I got a judgement aginst her and I got back some of the money but she still has not paid it all back to me yet! I have not gotten a payment in a year!

Response: #30
Received: Jun 14, 2000 12:40 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

She screamed when I left a closet door open slightly that I was letting my stuff creep out into the room. When a friend brought me some liquor-filled chocolates from her trip to Switzerland, my roomie told people it was proof that I was an alcoholic. She would polish all the furniture every day - and by polish, I mean scrub with soap and water. Nothing was allowed to be on a table except while it was being used. You could not leave a book on a table while you went to dinner, for example. You would need to put it away, scrub the table, then go to dinner.

Response: #31
Received: Oct 16, 2000 05:38 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

My flatmate was supposed to be starting up a business. Every day, he would park himself in the livingroom where the rest of us couldn't help but hear him and yak yak yak on his portable 'phone for hours on end, talking to all manner of people about his business. Never mind that the rest of us might have wanted to use the livingroom or even have some peace and quiet. Never mind that he had a huge room of his own from which he could have made his calls. ...

Response: #32
Received: Feb 15, 2001 18:38 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I really tried to get along with this girl, in fact, she was a good friend of mine. My parents warned me about this, but I continued to believe everything would be okay until I movied in with her .... Instantly she comandeered my remote (which I have since locked up after having to search for it after 8 billion times) and actually had the nerve to whine (yes, Like a whimpering dog)the few times I came home from work and actually wanted to watch something. This roomate spends all of her time playing computer games and then whines that she needs total silence when i return so she can write her paper. Since we have a computer lab as well as training ..., I do not see how this should be my fault. She is just lazy ... (ie if she does not want to work now, what will happen next semester when she graduates) Finally I am expected to be the sole source of money for the cleanning supplies, and she regulary asks if she can eat my food because she is apparently too lazy to go out and make some money herself. The other day, she actually whined (again!) and was frustrated that I was buying food that she did not actually want to eat.

Response: #33
Received: Mar 7, 2001 13:07 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

He plays the same song over and over and over and over. He does this on his computer's speakers, which are backed up against our connecting wall, so it sounds like they're in my room. His music is always louder in my room than my music is. He's been playing this song almost everyday for months now! Yet when I ask him about it, he doesn't even know what I'm talking about.

Response: #34
Received: May 23, 2001 19:11 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I do the dishes when she has her family over, she eats all my food and never offers a cent... plays dumb like - "oh... was that yours?" I want to strangle her......

Response: #35
Received: Oct 16, 2001 15:00 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

When I was living in the resident halls my sophomore year in college, one of my 3 roommates never cleaned her mess in the bathroom. It was so annoying to want to take a shower, but you have no where to put your clothes because there is hair all over the sink! Ahhhh it's so annoying.

It's ok if you give my name:

Response: #36
Received: Nov 16, 2001 02:22 ET

What did your roommate do wrong?

I don't have to wake up till eight, my roommate wakes up at seven. The entire period from seven till eight she coughs loudly. I can't sleep. It's awful. Can't she just go to the doctor?