You're Welcome!
-- a survey about about making people feel welcome

(answers to Survey 7)

What makes you feel welcome?

Many times in my life I've felt unwelcome. (Not a happy thought, but bear with me, it gets better.) Because I'm the kind of guy who analyzes everything, I've tried to figure out why, why I felt that way, or what might have happened to put me off. But no matter how hard I try, I can't come up with an explanation.

Over time I began to suspect that it wasn't what people were doing, but what they weren't doing, that made me feel unwelcome. Maybe I was responding not to the presence of something, but to the absence. Something was missing.

Some people know how to make up for that absence. We call them "welcoming people."

Of course my next question was "Am I a welcoming person?"

Surely there are techniques we could all learn. Surely it's not hard to enhance one's "welcomingness."

Luckily I have good role models. "Come back when you can stay longer," my grandparents have said. "Come back and see us!" they say, even today, when we part company. "Whenever you're in town. There's a room for you, and a seat at the table." It works for me. I know I belong.

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome? Take a moment to write your thoughts, and we'll all learn how it's done.


Response: #1
Received: Jan 7, 1999 16:49 ET

What are the techniques of making people feel welcome?

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?
Take a moment to write your thoughts, and we'll all learn how it's done.


Response: #2
Received: Feb 11, 1999 20:06 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?


Response: #3
Received: Mar 9, 1999 16:42 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?



Response: #4
Received: Mar 10, 1999 07:53 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?


Response: #5
Received: Mar 14, 1999 14:15 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #6
Received: Apr 28, 1999 14:24 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me



Response: #7
Received: May 12, 1999 14:45 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:


Response: #8
Received: May 13, 1999 11:53 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me


Response: #9
Received: May 13, 1999 22:23 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:



Response: #10
Received: May 25, 1999 18:17 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #11
Received: Jun 1, 1999 12:36 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #12
Received: Jun 11, 1999 16:33 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:



Response: #13
Received: Jul 2, 1999 15:48 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #14
Received: Jul 4, 1999 17:57 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:


Response: #15
Received: Jul 8, 1999 17:11 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #16
Received: Jul 10, 1999 18:34 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me


Response: #17
Received: Jul 12, 1999 03:52 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #18
Received: Aug 27, 1999 13:53 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself



Response: #19
Received: Sep 18, 1999 16:20 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #20
Received: Sep 30, 1999 23:26 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #21
Received: Oct 1, 1999 20:20 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #22
Received: Oct 25, 1999 17:19 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #23
Received: Oct 27, 1999 17:42 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Editor's note:
Then again, it may mean, "Where I grew up we didn't say 'You're welcome.' So I always feel funny saying it." And then again it may mean, "The favor you asked me for was inappropriately large." It's hard to say. So a little carefulness is in order.
--jeb

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:


Response: #24
Received: Oct 31, 1999 18:08 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #25
Received: Nov 9, 1999 16:10 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself



Response: #26
Received: Nov 16, 1999 02:16 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Editor's note:
Surely the reason why they tell you that is because they know you, and know they can trust you. Some people can't be trusted! For example, see the Survey 4 Answers.
--jeb

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:


Response: #27
Received: Nov 17, 1999 12:21 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me


Response: #28
Received: Nov 20, 1999 11:53 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #29
Received: Dec 8, 1999 11:45 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #30
Received: Dec 9, 1999 15:07 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #31
Received: Jan 19, 2000 01:59 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me


Response: #32
Received: Jan 27, 2000 18:24 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #33
Received: Feb 22, 2000 15:01 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself



Response: #34
Received: Feb 26, 2000 17:29 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Editor's note:
When that's your style, you should be up-front and let your host know it in advance, so he or she can make the appropriate preparations.
--jeb

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:


Response: #35
Received: Mar 9, 2000 17:00 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me


Response: #36
Received: Mar 11, 2000 21:07 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #37
Received: Mar 29, 2000 08:30 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:



Response: #38
Received: Apr 20, 2000 16:05 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

someone taught me



Response: #39
Received: Apr 29, 2000 12:34 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself


Response: #40
Received: Jul 1, 2000 22:33 ET

What works for you? What has made you feel welcome?

Did you discover this yourself? Or were you taught this?

discovered it myself

It's ok if you give my name:



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