The Relationshop Blog

 

19 March 2007

Good Intentions

(In reply to a lot of discussions.)

 

I've noticed that the topic of "intent" keeps coming up.
Everyone's so kind and so noble, and would never hurt a fly.

My gripe is with those who claim "good intentions" after hurting/wronging someone.

I've noticed a few things about people who claim to have good intentions: They'll always put up a protest, with "I didn't intend this" and "I didn't intend that" and "I intended only the best." But look closely, and you'll see a few more things they don't intend:

In fact, their "good intentions" go no farther than "I intended that you would react better to my misbehavior. And when you didn't, I rewrote history and pretended that my intentions were noble." This backpedaling is what results when people learn interpersonal skills from sitcoms, not psychology classes.

If we're going to talk about intentions, let's open both eyes and face the whole truth.

More: Why Are People Rude?

 

J. E. Brown Relationshop Los Alamos, NM USA

about the author

J. E. Brown, relationship activist and writer, has decided that verbal abuse will be wiped off the planet.

While writing a book on relationships, he occasionally designs online surveys and writes materials for this relationship education website.


more Thoughts of the Week


Concepts:

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions; intransigence; revisionist history.


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