definition of flaky

From the chapter on Unreliable Dating Partners:

Continuous Upheaval

Relationship flakes. I’m talking about men and women who have never provided anyone (such as a child or a spouse) with a stable home life. Always changing the arrangement. Always creating uncertainty. Always bringing home surprises. Always treating their partners like temporary employees, or like foster children: disposable. I’m talking about those spouses and partners who lack a fixed identity and who drop a different bombshell every week. Men and women with this relationship disorder use terror to control others. Everyone around them lives in fear of the next surprise announcement and the next unpredictable change of personality.

Frequently used quotes include:

• “I’ve just decided I’m bi.”
• “I’ve decided I’m straight again.”
• “This week I’m poly.”
• “This week I’m a barfly.”
• “You KNOW I’m not looking for a relationship.”
• “They’re just friends. Why is it every time someone kisses me you assume the worst?”
• “I quit my job again.”
• “I don’t like sex.”
• “I need more space.”
• “You didn’t fold the towels the way I ordered you to. It’s over!!!”
• “I’m seeing my ex again. She’s just a friend!” “Nothing happened, I swear!”
• “No, I never said I was gay/straight/bi/etc.”
• “Yes, my Facebook profile still says I’m single. So?”
• “I want to see other people. ... What’s the matter? Was it something I said? Your reactions are *so* unpredictable.”
• “I have something to tell you: I have another girlfriend. ... Why are you overreacting? Don’t you want me to be honest?”

Men and women like these are dangerous because they’ll make you think *all* relationships are transient and unreliable.

— J. E. Brown

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