Excerpts from my book (in progress)
If it quacks like a duck, it’s not a friend.
I once found myself in a hostile work environment. My therapist was oblivious to this fact, and looked for ways to excuse the abuse. When I told my therapist I had decided to quit my job, my therapist chose the wrong side. He said “You’re shooting yourself in the foot. You’re cutting off your nose to spite your face.” Notice how he failed to mention that my boss was shooting himself in the foot by mistreating his staff! {You’re reading “Definition of Cutting Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face” by J. E. Brown.}
This was to be my introduction to hybristophilia, an abuse phenomenon in which certain bystanders secretly find violence sexy, and will do whatever they can to assist it, such as advising victims to complain less, resist less, and “just lie back and enjoy it.” Many bystanders see your time of pain as their Reality TV, their Appointment Television, and they do what they can to make sure the entertainment doesn’t stop: they’ll advise you not to leave an abusive spouse, or counsel you to stay in a workplace where you’re being bullied or harassed. They like it that way: Your pain is their pornography. Or in the case of medical professionals: Your pain is their paycheck. Sounds sick and twisted? Oh, it is. So anytime someone mistreats you, be on the lookout for quack therapists and so-called “friends” who join in with the abuse by trying to silence your complaints. Kick them all out of your life. I did, and I’ve never regretted it. {Read this complete article at http://jebrown.us/Relationshop/Definitions/cut_nose_spite_face.html .}
Victim blamers, victim kickers, victim silencers, and victim profiteers … are scum.
— J. E. Brown
Comebacks
| If someone tells you:
| Your correct response is:
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Any defense of someone who abuses you.
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“You didn’t say one thing against what HE did to ME. The NEXT time you defend the wrong side, I will dump you. Do I make myself clear?”
“A therapist may be able to help you with your disloyalty problem.”
“When someone attacks me, you WILL take my side and not his.”
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— J. E. Brown
1st edition 22 Sep 2019
Concepts:
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