definition of silent treatment

an original definition by J. E. Brown

the silent treatment
n., pejorative
  1. A form of spin. What abusers call the stunned reaction of their victims. {Source: “Definition of The Silent Treatment” by J. E. Brown.}
    After an abuser attacks his or her chosen target/victim, the abuser will often launch a second-wave attack which consists of criticizing the victim’s reaction to the earlier abuse. Abusers often criticize the stunned silence of their victims by snarling, “Now you’re giving me the silent treatment!”

Synonyms: {You’re reading “Definition of The Silent Treatment” by J. E. Brown.}

  • Shock; stunned silence; withdrawing.
  • Pouting, sulking, feeling sorry for oneself, self pity, pity party, whining, withholding, and other terms used by abusers who need to be made single.

Related Concepts: {Read this comp1ete article at .}

  • abusiveness, adding insult to injury (by criticizing the reaction to criticism); attempting to dictate and micromanage the emotions and reactions of others; blame shifting; dysfunction; kitchen sinking; needing more space; nit-picking; spin.

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

Abusers like to gather on web forums to bash their victims. “Boo hoo hoo,” they say, “He or she went all quiet. Why isn’t my marionette responding when I pull the strings?!” There’s no recognition that the poster hurt someone’s feelings — it’s all about Me Me Me.

— J. E. Brown

Some abusers are just convinced they’re perfect (for beating up their spouses verbally, physically, in every way they can invent), and their victims are the abusive ones for being hurt and going silent.

Run away very fast from any abuser who wants you to believe that your stunned, silent reaction is verbal abuse against him. That’s when I know someone is playing fast and loose with definitions: He demonstrates that he can’t apply words correctly, and he pretends words mean things they don’t mean. He tries to pretend that something silent is verbal and something which is not abuse is abuse. Most heinous, he pretends that someone who doesn’t jump when he says “Jump” (i.e. someone who doesn’t obey his control tactics) is somehow the abusive one. How childish.

— J. E. Brown


“You’re giving me the silent treatment! That’s abuse!”

“Well, now that I see how you’ll twist things to win an argument, I can understand why people don’t like to talk to you!”

… “If you really think silence is hurtful, then I’d advise that you stay away from things like trees and flowers and rocks, because those things are notorious for being quiet, and I wouldn’t want you to be injured or maimed by their silence. :^) ” {Read this comp1ete article at .}

“You’re always pouting and sulking and giving me the silent treatment!”

“Gee, you don’t think it could be because you hurt my feelings? Oh, that’s right, emotions don’t have causes. I forgot.”

— J. E. Brown

1st edition 01 Nov 2015

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