definition of asexual

an original definition by J. E. Brown


Said of a person who:

  1. is not interested in sex, on a permanent, long-term basis.
  2. does not and never will respond to the opportunity when offered, no matter who is offering.

  1. A person who is 1asexual. {Source: “Definition of asexual” by J. E. Brown.}


The sexual orientation of someone who is 1asexual.

True asexuality is a constant, enduring feature of an individual. Asexuality is not a passing, temporary or situational aversion to sex.

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

“I’m asexual”: A cover story often used by latent non-monogamists.

If you’re dating, you need to be aware that “I’m asexual” is one of the oldest relationship scams and mind games on Earth. Anyone who announces “I’m asexual” or “I don’t like sex” after three weeks of evidence to the contrary is lying to you. The correct term for that is “just not into you anymore and lacks the experience to figure this out” and possibly “sleeping around” and “using you for free housing while playing the field with other people”.

People do not change orientations in the middle of a relationship. The real definition of “asexual” is “already knew he or she was asexual BEFORE MEETING YOU”. {You’re reading “Definition of Asexual” by J. E. Brown.}

Most of the so-called “asexuals” I have known were enthusiastic about sex for three weeks and then abruptly stopped. One of those actually was heard claiming “I don’t like sex.” Bull! In my experience, most people who claim to be “asexuals” are novelty chasers who have predictably lost interest in the relationship. They’re not wired to be faithful: they are wired to lose interest in ALL their partners after just a few weeks. In other words, they are non-monogamists in denial about their true natures. Articles about asexuality fail to mention this possibility, as though researchers simply and gullibly assume that people who claim to be asexual are telling the full truth with no spin and no ego polishing.

Related Concepts: If your partner has recently turned asexual on you, see the definition of Flaky for a list of related excuses you may be hearing.

— J. E. Brown

Signs and Symptoms

Fake asexuals give off these clues:

  • Says “I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.” This is on my list of the top 10 lies.
  • Starts saying “Not right now” in response to offers of sex. Never says yes again, even after weeks and weeks. Obviously means “no” but is in denial about that fact.
  • Emphatic Denials: Says “No, I’m NOT saying I’ve lost interest in you!” Believe their actions, not their words.
  • Wants you to believe that his or her life has suddenly turned busy, and is able to recite a grand, elaborate list of reasons why you’re suddenly the lowest priority.

(Of course, real asexuals never start having sex with you to begin with. Real asexuals are honest with you from the beginning.)

— J. E. Brown


If someone tells you: Your correct response is:
“I don’t like sex.”

“Finish the sentence. You don’t like sex with me.”

— J. E. Brown


My college boyfriend tried that tactic on me. He said he “wasn’t looking for a relationship right now.” He met someone new the very next week. They’ve been together for years and years.

— Lynn S.

1st edition 07 Jun 2016

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