What Is “Ethical Non-monogamy”?A few anti-monogamists discovered the propaganda trick of calling their behavior “ethical”. This has the nifty effect of stopping people from yelling “You whore!” and instead asking “What’s that?” — as if just because you can put two words together, the thing they refer to really exists. Well, I can put the words “purple” and “unicorn” together — it doesn’t prove such a thing exists. {You’re reading “Definition of Monogamy, Definition of Non-monogamy” by J. E. Brown.} | |||
The New Non-monogamyWhen I was young, non-monogamists were much more closeted about their intentions. Many were in denial. But as of 2016, today’s non-monogamist is in your face, even militant, and not afraid to break down your boundaries by expressing contempt for your needs. (Related: See Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).) There is no such thing as an “ethical slut”. Non-monogamy is a PLAN and an INTENTION to whore around without considering anyone else’s needs, goals, and feelings. And contrary to what polyamorists are always saying in web forums, not one of the non-monogamists I ever dated was up front about the fact that their values differed from mine. From that experience, I learned that non-monogamy is not some ethical alternative, worthy of my respect, but a calculated plan to use fraud and deception to get sex. In this regard, non-monogamists can be seen to be no better than rental applicants who “forget” to mention that they don’t meet the requirements for a room, no better than job applicants who lie on their résumés to get a position. It’s sad to think that most people who claim to be monogamous, non-abusive, drug-and-disease-free, non-smoking, non-unilateral, non-self-centered, etc., etc., aren’t, but are just using those position statements as a cynical ploy to get more sex.
If non-monogamists really felt their preference were a legitimate lifestyle choice, they’d reveal it up front. They’d negotiate for it. But they don’t. Because anti-monogamy is all about tricking innocent people into having sex with them and accidentally bonding with them. [More about this: See Dating Pool.] You may ask, Why am I so intolerant toward non-monogamy? Because non-monogamy is not tolerant. Because the practitioners of non-monogamy make no effort to peacefully coexist with monogamists, no effort to respect our rights to achieve our own dream of finding long-term stable relationships. Instead, non-monogamists attempt to divert us from our goal, by using trickery, by lying by omission, by concealing their true nature, by distracting us from our goals by selfishly luring us into theirs. They conceal the fact that they offer nothing of value to us. They lead us on, pretending to share our values and our relationship goals, concealing from us the fact that there are more kinds of people on earth than those who sincerely long for stability. And when caught, they use disingenuous tactics like “I thought we agreed that we were just having fun” — when in fact there was no such discussion and no such agreement. Non-monogamy is not based on honesty — it is not based on respect for others. It is based on satisfying one’s needs at the expense of others, even if those needs are fleeting and purely carnal. {You’re reading “Definition of Monogamy, Definition of Non-monogamy” by J. E. Brown.} Not only does the non-monogamist not respect you in the morning, he didn’t respect you the previous night, and he didn’t respect you the moment you first met. | |||
Excerpts from my book (in progress)
Quotes
3rd edition 25 Jan 2023
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