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definition of sense of humor,
definition of sense of humour

an original definition by J. E. Brown

sense of humor, sense of humour
  1. The ability to create new humor. It is believed that humor creation requires the humorist to put himself in another person's shoes, to hear the joke the way it sounds to a listener who doesn't yet know the punch line.
  2. The ability to provoke laughter in others.
  3. The ability to sense or identify humor, whether that humor is created by oneself or by others.
  4. Street Definition: In personal ads, esp. in the personal ads and dating profiles of those who describe themselves as "sarcastic" (i.e. verbally abusive), "sense of humor" means "the ability to be the target of my verbal abuse without getting upset like I said something wrong." In personal ads, "has a sense of humor" is often a code word for "Doesn't get upset when I abuse him or her (as if the fact that I abuse others is somehow a judgment on them and not on me)." Ironically, this definition of "sense of humor" is used by persons who can't put themselves in the shoes of others, due to a lack of basic empathy.

See Also: Verbally abusive people are usually in denial about their problem. See Definition of conceit.

Related: Why Are People Rude?

Red Flags: Words and Phrases Often Found in the Personal Ads of Abusive People

Abusive people have a tendency to project responsibility for their abusiveness onto their victims.
Expect abusers to use phrases like:

  • Seeking someone who's not insecure, not overly sensitive, not hypersensitive.
  • Seeking someone who is emotionally stable.
  • Happiness comes from within. [I.e. "Your loved ones are not obligated to help you be happy."]
  • [seeking someone with a] sense of humor
  • [seeking someone who] doesn't take things too seriously
  • [seeking friends who] don't take themselves too seriously
  • I'm just misunderstood.
  • Sometimes people can't tell when I'm just joking / just kidding.
  • Not into drama.
  • Not into baggage.

Also look for phrases like:

  • I'm outspoken. I speak my mind. I tell it like it is. No sugar coating; straight up, no chaser.
  • Some people think I'm rude, but I'm not.
  • I'm honest, sometimes to a fault.
  • I'm a nice person. Really!

4th edition. 30 May 2008

about the author

J. E. Brown, relationship activist, decided in 1987 that verbal abuse will be wiped off the planet.

He has been working on it ever since.

While writing a book on relationships, he occasionally designs online surveys and writes educational materials for this web site.

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